17 Shakespearean Insults We Should Start Using Again

How can you not love Shakespeare!

Thought Catalog

1. Away you three-inch fool!

This sentence is a vicious attack on a man’s confidence and in modern times it’d sound something like “Get out of my sight you tiny penis having chump!” Words can hurt. Sticks and stones will break your bones but an itty-bitty penis comment will eat away at you like cancer. If you’re looking to land a devastating blow, this is your balled up, brass knuckle decorated fist.

2. I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets.

How cold blooded would it be to tell a friend to settle for whatever they can get. This is the same as saying “No offense, but you should probably date anyone who is interested because you’re not exactly a catch.” Ouch, you may as well save some syllables and say “Beggars can’t be choosers, ugly.”

3. You…

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Why, hello there! We (my blog & I) are celebrating five years of *drumroll* inane ramblings, banal pondering, and, very random musings. Check out our newly grown facial hair (Movember forever!), oh and read some posts while you’re at it. 

This year a few of the old posts will be re-posted, but mostly new stuff will be finding its way here. Feel free to comment, share, and most of all, join in the madness.

P.S. In case you’re expecting something profound, let me spare you the disappointment. This is my blog, and so it is as, if not more, innocuous as me.